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Monday, August 30th, 2010

Time:1:07 am.
I am so lonely.
Comments: stare at me.

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

Time:3:53 am.
Mood: loved.
I love Bryan Lazur more than anything else in the world. And I want to marry him. I want to be tied to him forever. Things my night always be perfect but its always worth it. Tonight I said out loud "you complete me". Cheesiest, most over used line ever, but its exactly how I feel.






I just had to get that off my chest.
Comments: stare at me.

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

Time:12:39 am.
catCollapse )
Comments: stare at me.

Friday, November 20th, 2009

Time:7:52 am.
Mood: envious.
I wish they'd write a "How to be more like Edward Cullen Manual" for guys. Sigh.
Comments: stare at me.

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

Time:6:26 pm.
Mood: uncomfortable.
hi LJ, how have you been? I've been mediocre.
I finally quit Dick's after 3 years at the end of August. I couldn't take the crap there anymore. It was actually upsetting because i used to love it there so much... but thats all

I am going to say on the subject because it makes me sad to think about.
But on the bright side I got a job as a manager at petsmart. So far I love it. The pay is not that much more than Dick's but it is more and its great experiece.

Bryan's and my 2 year anniversary is on the 14th. I cant believe its been two years. Everything before that seems like such a different memory.

Theres been so much drama lately its ridiculous. Not with Bryan just other stuff.

I really should go for a run or something but im so tired. I have to get up at 6 am most days :-/
Comments: stare at me.

Friday, July 31st, 2009

Time:5:19 am.
Mood: aggravated.
I wish I hadn't stopped writing in here on a regular basis :/


I'm sad. Bryan has been weird lately. I feel like I don't make him happy anymore. He always just wants to go home and play video games. And I have no real job and no real idea what I want to do. And I am fat. I have gained so much weight over the past couple years. Its disgusting. I used to be so thin and now I'm the fattest one out of my friends and no matter how hard I try I can't loose weight. Not eating much is what worked in the past but if I do that and go to work I get dizzy and out of it and end up messing up my drawer and I handle thousands of dollars in cash every day. so that option isn't very feasable.

I don't know why I am bitching about this here I just have nowhere else to bitch.
Comments: 2 glares - stare at me.

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

Time:8:43 pm.
Mood:Terrified.

Seeing as school resumes on Monday, I thought it would be a good idea to logon and check my King's e-mail.  I had a lot of junk and one message from the registrart.  Which said:


Registrar’s Office

 

Erin Rowan                                            Box:  871                      January 8, 2009

581 Gibson Avenue

Kingston, PA  18704

 

 

Re:       Graduation Application

 

 

Dear Erin:

 

You are in the final semester toward completing your degree requirements.  At this time we need you to submit a Graduation Application.  Please submit your Graduation Application using the WebAdvisor system.  Your WebAdvisor login id is:  erinrowan   

 

Once you are logged into the system select the option Application for graduation, located under the Academic Profile heading.

 

1)  Click into the box “Choose One” and hit submit.

 

2)  In the box labeled “Name on Diploma” type your name exactly how you would like it to appear on your diploma.      

 

     Note: Diplomas names do not include a prefix such as “Mr.” or “Ms.”.  If the system has populated your name with a prefix please remove it.

 

3)  Enter or update your home address information in the address fields.

 

4)  Select the Anticipated Graduation Term from the drop-down box.

5)  Enter the date  05/17/09 into the Commencement Date box.

           

6)  Click SUBMIT and logoff.

 

NOTE:  All graduation applications must be submitted to the Registrar’s Office

no later than January 30, 2009.

 

At this time our records indicate your degree information as follow:

 

            Degree: BS       Business Administration

                                                            2nd major: 

                                                            Minor:      

 

If there are any discrepancies with this information please meet in person with Mrs. Elaine Klukoske, Associate Registrar, in the Registrar’s Office.

 

Sincerely,

 

Mr. Daniel T. Cebrick,  Registrar








I almost had a panic attack when i read it.  My heart is still racing and i feel like I can't breathe.  Obviously i knew this is my last semester and I will be graduating in four months but i guess it didnt hit me completely until just now. I have four months left of college.  It seems like just yesterday i was ranting in here about how i was dreading college and wanted to stay in high school.  Now i am dreading something much scarier...not being in school at all.  Granted college was a big change from high school but at least it was still school. In four months i need to have  FULL TIME JOB and be a functioning member of society.  IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! I certainly don't feel like an adult. I dont feel like a kid either though.  It is very weird and scary and i hate it and i want to pass out just thinking about it. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. i am so scared maybe i should just fail all my classes so i have to go an extra semester. I cant think about this anymore
Comments: 3 glares - stare at me.

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Time:12:15 am.
Mood: confused.
 In 5 days I am going to be a senior in college. I dont know whether to smile or cry. I'm kind of excited but kinda scared out of my mind. As much as I sort of hate myself for how i acted the first two years of college...i do miss being so carefree and always having fun. I'm scared. I need to get really good grades this year. And then i need to get a job and be a real person. I want to cry. In a way i still feel like a kid, or at least a teenager. But I'm not. I'm 21. Four years ago i was in high school. It seems like just yesterday.  In four years from now....I will probably be thinking about settling down and having kids of my of my own.  It scares the crap out of me. I don't want to be an adult. College was never supposed to end...
Comments: stare at me.

Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

Time:12:32 am.
Mood: nostalgic.
It's weird how little time i spend online anymore.  I could go days at a time and not miss it.  In high schoool i would spend hours every night online, chatting to people or checking myspace or this religiously. I can remeber sophmore year of high school so well. Sara and i would go for walks or shit around at the park almost every night and complain how bored we were.  I can remember thinking that someday when i was busy and had a crazy life I'd long for those days, but at the time it seemed so unreasonable that it would ever actually happen.  And it definately has.  I don't mind it so much in the summer.  I work about 35 hours a week.  But then after work I am always tired and dead and just want to come home and watch tv with Bryan or just go to bed.  Its crazy in the school year though.  I go non-stop all day every day and sleep very little.  The days of having to take walks to subway just to pass the time seem so far away.

I can also remeber alsways being SO sad and thinking i could never find a boyfriend.  I can remeber crying and honsetly believing that something was wrong with me and no guy could ever care about me.  I really believed that.  But i was wrong.  I am so happy i have Bryan.  He is amazing.  I feel like I don't deserve him.

I also and so freaks me out to think i am going to be a senior in college.  I am going to graduate and have to be a real person.  I'm going to get my masters right after i graduate so that will be a good transition at least. But its scary.  I hope Bryan and i are still together after school.  When i think about my future, he is always in it. 

I guess this entry is pretty pointless.  It is just weird for me to actually be home sitting on the computer with nothing to do and it just made me thinking about how that used to be an every night kinda thing.  I dunno.   When the hell did i grow up?
Comments: 1 glare - stare at me.

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

Time:4:16 pm.
Mood: content.
 I was just reading through my old entries in here(looking for something) from junior year. Its weird. I remember it soooo vividly i just cannot believe it was 4 years ago. But then again, so much as changed since then. I graduated and before i know it I will be graduating again, but this time from college. Its a scary thought. I always thought I would be terrified to graduate and be out in the real world and that i wanted to stay in college forever. But now even though i am still scared, I'm excited too. I mean the thought of being a real person in the real world with a real job and not being a kid anymore is very scary. But getting a good job abd being successful and eventually getting married is really exciting too. Just not quite yet. Another year and i should be ready. Plus technically its 2 years becasue after I graduate i will be getting my MBA so i will still sort of be in school for another year or so, so it will be a good transition.
I kind of wish i wrote in here more. It was nice to be able and look back and see exactly what was going on in my life and what i was thinking and funny inside jokes with my friends i forgot from 4 years ago. I've changed a lot in the last 4 years. and for about a year and a half i just wasted my life partying. But i think everyone needs to get that phase out of their system at some point.  Now i hardly ever drink and when i do its just a few glasses of wine, at home.  I cant even remember the last time i was actually drunk...maybe new years? I dont know. I dont feel the need to drink anymore becasue I am happy now without it.  I used to drink a lot because I was not happy.  Now its just something fun to do occasionally. Im sure my thoughts will change a bit in a month and 27 days though ;) Im really just excited to turn 21 so i can finally go out to the bar with everyone. I am SO sick of hearing "you'd be invited but you're not 21" dhwajkshdska. 
Its also weird to think about how i used to be sooo bored all the time and never have much of anything to do. Now i barely have anytime to breathe between work and school. But i like being busy, being bored is much worse. I just wish i had a little more free time.
Im insanely happy with Bryan. He makes me soo happy i dont know how i ever survived without him.  I mean sometimes we get into little "rough" patches but is never anything terrible and its usually when i have spent way too much time with him or im pms-ing or he is realy stressed out and cranky. He is going to be getting a new job soon. It makes me really upset to think about. For several reasons. First of all, Dick's is where we met and got to know each other. I would never know him if it werent for Dicks. Second, its so easy to see him.  Even if we arent working together we are always out by 10 and my house is only a few minutes away so its always easy for him to come over after work.  All of the other jobs he is considering would result in me seeing him a LOT less. But i know he needs the money and he promised he will still make time for me.  I'm just kind of worried.  But anyway, Saturday we are going fishing for the first day of trout season and i am soooo excited. Ive always wanted to go fishing. And i got a pink pole and tackle box and lots of nice bait, etc.  I just dont want to actually have to touch the fish. And the 14th is out 6 month anniversary. In a way, it feels like much longer. Like my life before him seems like such a long time ago. 

Ok im bored of this maybe i will update it again next month.
Comments: stare at me.

Friday, March 7th, 2008

Time:4:30 am.
Mood: pissed off.
Dear Spring Break '08,
Please go to hell and burn.  You are terrible and have brought me nothing but misery.  I would rather deal with school than you.  You get my hopes up and promise to be great and make me happy and relieve my unbearable stress.  But you haven't. If anything you have made it worse.  I'm sorry to come down so hard on you so hard, but i have been  nothing but miserable since school let out.  What the fuck.  I am going to go drink alcohol and prove to you I can be happpy. Fuck you.
Sincerley, 
Erin Marion Rowan
Comments: stare at me.

Saturday, January 5th, 2008

Subject:cheesy love songs =)
Time:5:42 pm.
Mood: loved.

 Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me

These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

Comments: stare at me.

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

Subject:new year
Time:1:43 pm.
Mood: content.
 it was so amazingly nice having someone to kiss at midnight <3

new years was fun. i ate nothing all day so i got kinda drunk kinda fast but not too bad, i remember everything. I went to Alli's bf's first. Then made an appearance at a work party, which are always fun. Then I stayed at Bryan's house and his mom made him sleep on the couch and i slept in his bed and she made it with clean sheets and blankets since i am allergic to his dog :) I slept sooooo well too. Idk, i think it was just something about being in his bed that made me feel safe and happy. He had work at 8 and woke me up around 6:30. When we left his house it was snowing and there was a few inches and it was SO AMAZINGLY PRETTY bc he lives in the middle of nowhere and i never saw the woods when it was snowing like that, it was beautiful. Then i slept for like an hour and went to work myself. 

as for new years resolution? idk it kinda already started for me. I hardly ever drink anymore and obviously no more drunk "accidents". My grades are back up and I'm happy, I really have nothing i want to change. Maybe loose some weight. Eh.

Time for work. Peace out.
Comments: stare at me.

Thursday, December 27th, 2007

Time:2:06 am.
Mood: loved.
 My grades were good this semester. I got a 3.7 which is the best GPA I've ever had, even though it seems like everyone did better than me but im still proud of myself bc i worked really hard and that is a LOT higher then the 2.8 i had last semester. 

Christmas was good even though i was sick. I got a lot of clothes i picked out for myself, new perfume, and some misc. stuff from the parents, money or girft certificates from the relatives, a big hello kitty purse/bag from Cara, havent exchanged with my friends yet, and Bryan got me bunny slippers (which i asked for), Family Guy Volume 5, new gloves that are the kind where ur fingertips are sticking out but theres a mitten part u can pull over and they are REALLY conveneint and i had a pair from American Eagle from like 4 years ago and they were falling apart and i told him i wanted new ones but couldn't find them anywhere and then i said i saw a pair at AE but they were like wool and chunky and a weird shade of pink he got me nice pink regular material ones like my old ones and looked around the whole mall to find them :) AND Love Actually on DVD bc i couldn't find it anywhere and he finally found it at Circuit City and walked there from Dick's in the rain to buy it for me because he is amazing. He seriously makes me so incredibly happy he was worth waiting for after all these years of horrible guys and being treated like crap. Oh and his mom got me a Vera Bradley purse which i have always wanted one but never really had the extra money to buy one. And a scarf. =)

I have been working 389432840923 hours lately. Im so beat from it.

Tonight after work i hung out with Cara and Lori for a while and we drove around like the whole valley and it was really fun. I havent hung out with Lori in ages it was so fun and like old times. I love actually having time off from school and getting to see people.

Um. I dont really have anything else to say but i just kinda figured i'd say something
Comments: stare at me.

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

Time:9:29 pm.
Mood: happy.
 i have a great boyfriend who i have been togehter with for over a month now.
im looking at a *potential* 3.8 GPA if i play my cards right the rest of the semester.
i am the employee of the month for october at work.

LIFE. IS. GOOD.
i think maybe i should buy one of those t-shits.
Comments: 6 glares - stare at me.

Thursday, October 18th, 2007

Time:1:09 am.
i am so happy.
Comments: stare at me.

Sunday, October 14th, 2007

Time:11:35 pm.
Mood: happy.

  

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Comments: stare at me.

Time:1:20 pm.
Mood: happy.
 Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that i melted
I fell right through the cracks, and i'm tryin to get back
before the cool done run out i'll be givin it my best test
and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love
listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melody
It's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved Loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate, i'm yours

I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm a sayin'is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
it cannot wait, i'm sure
(there's no need to complicate
our time is short
it cannot wait, i'm yours

no please don't complicate, our time is short
this is our fate, im yours.
no please don't hesitate no more, no more
it cannot wait, i'm yours

well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la one big family
it's your god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved
open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la happy family
it's our god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la peaceful melodies
it's you god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved...
Comments: stare at me.

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

Time:10:47 am.
Mood: hopeful.
We've got a good thing goin' on
We've got a good thing goin' on
B-B-Baby
Wanting you so bad is a problem I have
And I know that you need me
But it wont come that easy
I said I know, I know, oooh


C'mon baby, you make me sweat
I'm suffocating
You stole the air from chest
My heart's on fire
I'm falling from your lips
You know, you know
We've got a good, good thing going on
We've got a good thing goin' on

Whisper to me softly
Let your hands do the talking
Resisting temptation
Devoting dedication
Lets move
(Shake it up, b-b-back up, shake it up)
Wanting you soo bad
Is a problem I have
And I know that you need me
But it won't come that easy
I said I know, I know, oooh


C'mon baby you make me sweat
I'm suffocating
You stole the air from my chest
My heart's on fire
I'm fallin' from your lips
You know, you know
We've got a good
Good thing going on

C'mon baby, you make me sweat
I'm suffocating
You stole the air from my chest
My heart's on fire (fire)
I'm fallin' from your lips (fire)
You know, you know
We've got a good
Good thing going on
C'mon baby(ahhh)
C'mon baby(ahh)
My heart's on fire (fire)
I'm fallin' from your lips (fire)
You know you know
We've got a good
Good thing going on
Comments: 1 glare - stare at me.

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Subject:chivalry?
Time:11:03 pm.
Mood: indescribable.

today i went on a date with a boy(who i have had a crush on for about a year). he opened the car door for me. and payed. and thanked ME for going out to eat with him. i have never expereinced this in my LIFE. i am floored. usually boys are liek "hey come to my dorm and drink beer (and then we can hookup and then ill pretend i dont know u)"








Here's The Thing
I Was Minding My Own Business Doin What I Do
I Wasnt Tryina Look For Anything
All Of A Sudden Couldnt Take My Eyes Off You
I Didnt Even Know If You Could Tell
That You Had Me In A Daze
Sayin 'What The Hell'
Here's My Name, Number
Baby Just Hit My Cell
Loving Everything You Do
Cuz You Do It Well
Dont Know What You Got Me Thinkin

You Aint Even Tryina Play Me Boy
Cuz You're So Good, And You're So Fine
Got Me Sayin Crazy Things, Listen

I Aint Ever Met A Man Like That
I Aint Ever Fell So Far, So Fast
You Can Turn Me On, Throw Me Off Track
Boy You Do It, Do It
You Do It, Do It
You're Doin It Well

Baby no need For False Pretenses
Think You Just Shocked Me To My Senses

Comments: 2 glares - stare at me.

LiveJournal for erin.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.